Are you classic? try these classic definitions

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present..

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such away that everybody believes he got the biggest piece..

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power..

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on..

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before..

Classic: Books which people praise, but do not read..

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight..

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life..

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth..

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do..

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together..

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes..

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions..

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead..

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip..

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river..

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet.".

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY..

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.. Father: A banker provided by nature.. C

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught..

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early..

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills